Hi. I've been recovering over the past 1.5 years from depression and social anxiety, but somethings don't change. Right now my main problem is my self-image, and I need to establish a decent self-image in order to be content or have motivation to do anything.

There's a process in my mind, most of the times unintentional, that stops me from establishing the self-image: I often become obsessed about some people, and usually they pretend to care about me too. But I subconsciously or sometimes intentionally, prepare tests to see if they really care about me or not. And usually it turns out that they don't care, and well it's not their fault, they don't care about me just like how i don't care about billions of people.

I've tried CBT but my mind seems too resistant. How can I change this habit/process and find a way to establish a decent self-image and self-esteem? Any ideas?