Hi there's always hope, sorry you're struggling so much. You kind of diagnosed yourself with regard to the stimulants. I know if I even take caffeine (in cola or coffee) I will become more anxious and restless, even though it also makes me feel better able to concentrate and can lift my mood. I'm very careful with it and avoid it whenever I feel restless. It's hard for you, but if you can get help to come off the stimulants and eat regular meals or snacks of slowly absorbed food like whole grain, veg, moderate but adequate protein, nuts, seeds, your energy levels will level out and you will feel more able to work toward your goals. Much easier said than done, as you will feel bad while withdrawing, but it will be worth it. The quick fix and buzz is so tempting, but you described the high price you are paying for it. Can your doctor suggest support if you really want to come off them? The only one who can do it though is you and you have to be committed. This sounds harsh but I do understand. I have my own unhelpful coping strategies I'm trying to stop and I know I have to choose the right choice each time and each time it's my choice. Believe me, I want you to have the better life you can have, even though it won't be perfect, you're young, half my age, and you can get more from life than you do now. Good luck and best wishes. I really mean it.