So I want some honest opinons here:
Long story short, my dad was never around as a kid; only for a couple days at a time, then in 6th grade he left. Before he left, he and my mom constantly fought with each other, screaming and yelling and swearing- one time I saw my mom hit my dad. After my dad left, my mom and I would fight a lot, it was almost like I took my dad's place, and when we would fight my mom would hit me, then it was fighting about how she would hit me. Just a side note; I NEVER ever hit her. When we would fight, I would yell back, but she was always the one that would hit me. One time she hit me as a kid because I was angry and I was also making eggs, and I tossed the shell into the sink and she screamed at me and made me go to my room so she could hit me.
Sophomore year in high school, I wanted to kill myself because of this and I was self harming because of it as well, and my mom took me to the doctor and had me put on meds. To this day, I am pretty screwed up because of the medications, and traumatic things that happened while I was on medication. I went from normal kid to this monster of a person with these disability labels over my head. Lately my mom and I have been fighting every day and I can't take it anymore- every morning I wake up with my dog and eventually my mom and I start fighting. My head hurts every day because of it and I can't take it anymore.
I've had behavior specialists and other people in the professional field tell me it was on the edge of child abuse or domestic violence. But my mom lies about everything, dodges the truth so I look like I scream and yell for no reason. It sucks. I believe this is my mom's master plan for me and, like I said, I want out. I can't take it anymore.
Sorry for this long rant, but what do you guys think? I'm desperate for some relief and after being in the hospital twice this year, plus day treatment programs, I'm STILL messed up. The only way I'll be able to get normal again is if I move out, which I seriously want to do but can't because I'm broke.
Thanks for reading.