Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaybird57
I think any author who writes a book appreciates a positive review of the book and some indication that the reviewer got something important from reading it. That said, as someone who also struggles staying connected with a therapist for any length of time, I hope you're able to go into your next "attempt" a therapy by fully disclosing your difficulty connecting and sticking out the relationship process involved in psychotherapy. One thing I've learned is that I can ALWAYS find fault with the therapist attempting to build a relationship with me. I can always believe that the next "rock star" therapist is going to be the one who will help me understand myself better so I can bring about the change I need to feel happier and more engaged in life. Guess what? It isn't about the rock star quality of the "new" therapist I've chosen to bring about those changes; it's about my failure to stay engaged even when things get tough and I want to dismiss the "new" therapist as a dud that doesn't know squat. Just my thoughts on what I've learned about my inability to find a therapist I "liked" or wanted to stick with for any length of time.
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SO well said! I do plan on fully disclosing my difficulty connecting in my next attempt at therapy. I have my eyes on this therapist in particular because he seems to have based his work and research around working with avoidant clients and building strong therapeutic relationships... that said, I hope I haven't set my expectations too high, because I don't want to end up being disappointed or worse, lashing out and being difficult because I have expectations that are ridiculous and impossible to meet. I'm making every attempt to be aware and mindful of my issues and to do solid pre-therapy work of my own, including figuring out what I areas I need to work on, what I really want to change, and what difficulties or obstacles I might encounter.
I'm curious what sort of faults you've found with therapist who have tried to build a relationship with you. For me personally, I've found myself scoffing at what I perceive to be unfair generalizations or assumptions a therapist might make about me. I've also had inappropriately averse reactions to suggestions a therapist has made that I then take to mean that they must not understand me, e.g. suggesting that I talk to my brother about my struggle with depression or suggesting that I turn to 'alternative medicine'.