Echoes, thanks for the info on the books. I will look into it. Fear of losing that closeness I have with her is a huge part of this whole process. I keep telling myself not to let her in too much because it will end one day. I have a loving family and close friends, but nobody knows about the horror of my childhood, except T. Its a relationship like no other I have ever experienced, but I suppose everybody feels like that. You're right echoes, if I'm really honest with myself, I think my wanting to finish is a control thing. Maybe in my subconscious I feel so angry at her for leaving me I just think I will end it!! Although,like I said, my logical mind tells me otherwise.
Thank you Caramee, for your understanding, We do sound very alike. I hope I get to talk to you again. Meantime, I guess another day has passed by. Ssssiiiggghhh!!!!