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Originally Posted by Anxiousvalkyrie
Just curious if anyone out there is interested in BDSM and if so do it relate to any other issues you might have? Also wondered how people in this community view it.
I have been into it since my late teens. When my mother, who is a psychologist, out (because my sister told her) she lectured me on how it was unhealthy and that there was something wrong with me. Because of this I suffered a lot of shame over it and this my sex life suffered severely. Years later I met my current fiancé who helped me work through that shame and embrace my kinks.
I was brought up to feel like sex was something shameful to begin with, but BDSM allowed me to give up control and enjoy it unhindered. Especially once I got over the residual feelings my mom made me feel after she found out I was into it.
Pain in general is a release for me. It relieves my anxiety temporarily and engaging in a scene with my fiancé allows me to forget about all the things that worry me, and even my BDD issues with my body. So it's been a good thing in my life, almost therapeutic.
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I dont think you should let anyone tell you what sex is "supposed" to be about. If two consensual adults want to have sex a certain way, then that's up to them. That's my opinion anyway. Im not a doctor so I don't know if BDSM is psychologically unhealthy but I do know that a lot of people are into it.
I do like it though. I like when someone has power and control over me to a degree so I can relate. Nothing extreme though. Just like being held down, hands tied...ect. Maybe more someday.
For me: being dominated makes me feel loved and wanted. Like if the other person has control over me, I have a sense of belonging. If that makes sense.
If you and your partner both enjoy the experience, then maybe it's not a problem? Just make sure you don't ever let him or her push you into doing things that your not comfortable with.