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Originally Posted by ThisWayOut
 I'm sorry you are struggling so much around all this...
I've never been one big on physical contact, so that's not really been a way I seek comfort from a T.
I've found comfort in tone of voice, presence, the words T says... I've also found it in the way I felt T understood me or was able to calm me with their words. In one difficult session with most recent ex-t, we were going over triggering things (specifically a timeline of trauma). At one point, ex-t took the timeline and moved it out of sight, pointing out that she was taking it away. I hadn't realized till she moved it that just the sight of it was triggering. I turned away every time she moved it towards me to point out specific things. She picked up on my body language and acted on making it more comfortable in the moment...
Can you find comfort in something that does not involve touch? Maybe have a conversation with T around how the lack of minimal encouragers (facial, vocal, or posture changes) makes it difficult to find comfort from her? I know it's difficult to change how you percieve comfort, but I also have a feeling you won't find the comfort you are looking for with this T (and with the way things went with last T, I think it's probably a good cautious move).
I'm sorry your husband wasn't comforting either though... |
She said we would talk about it on Wednesday. We did talk about the lack of change in her affect. She's worried that if she focuses on reacting in a way I will read as supportive, that it will distract her from listening to me.
I'm not seeking comfort solely through touch. That's why I tried reaching out to he in an email. I was looking for comfort through words. I guess I wanted to know that she was there, or cared, or understood. Something, anything. Just to know I'm not alone in this. But she provided me with nothing except to say we will talk about it on Wednesday and thanking me for telling her...
I don't know what words or actions I'm looking for specifically. That's why I'm asking you all. I'm trying to guage what's normal.