I was taught in no uncertain terms as a child that expressing emotion is shameful, selfish and frankly dangerous. To this day if I feel like I'm going to start crying in front of someone, my fight/flight reaction activates and I feel like I am under attack. I haven't figured out any solutions yet but I understand how debilitating it can be, especially in scenarios like therapy or meeting with a pdoc, like when you're trying to make them understand how miserable you are even though you can't really express it in front of another human.