i need advice

i've been having an awful time at work. fairly certain i'm going to be fired or driven to quit soon. which will leave me with no income or insurance.

this situation along with another (i recently tried to see a therapist but got scared in the office and left) has sent me into a bad place.

plus my cat died!

i've been cutting and scratching myself this past week, which i hadn't really been doing for a while

i went to see my regular doctor last week and he said he would refer me to a counselor but it could take a few months to get in.

i'm now afraid because of my job issue - in a few months i may not have insurance or an ability to pay for help

i was thinking of going back to my regular doctor and showing him the marks on my arm. so he can see that i'm really not doing that great and maybe get help faster?

but i'm afraid of what will happen!!! i don't want to be sent to the hospital - mostly because then i'd have to tell my parents (i would need them to take care of my dogs)

i worry more about them worrying or being hurt than anything that might happen to me

has anyone been in a situation of showing cuts to a regular doctor when you're not in therapy?? what happened??

i'm NOT suicidal!! i'm just a numb, non-feeling, sometimes anxious, unable to concentrate, waste of a human....blob (hmmm....kinda suprising i'm not suicidal, huh...sorry i got a sick sense of humor)

oh well i guess i just needed to write out my situation some....helps me concentrate....

do you ever feel like there's nothing wrong with you and you're just making it all up so you don't have to deal with anything like work, etc. that's kinda how i feel right now.

i don't know....