I'm so ****ing sick and tired of this. I'm sitting alone in the dark staring at a wall thinking of hurting myself,letting it happen over and over in my head just to keep me from doing it for real. I can't even vent through art because then my parents are "concerned" and think i do it to myself when i have paranoia and problems sleeping due to fear. Everything i do is belittled and wrong. I'm tired of it all. How am i supposed to vent? I can't hurt myself, they get mad at me. I can't draw, they judge me. I don't want to hurt anyone ELSE ANd can't destroy property/our home,that's illegal. What am i supposed to do? I'm tired of my problems being looked down upon. My dad's anxiety and mine are dIFFERENT. Don't you dare tell me mine is "bull *****" and that I'm lazy and never want to help out because my anxiety STOPS ME. NEVER TELL ME THAT IS BULL *****. YOU DODON'TLET YOUR ANXIETY STOP YOU, you never got a vasectomy and that's why tou keep having so many ****ing kids. I'm very angry that he says he doesn't let his anxiety stop him because we have two very different "types" of anxiety that are results of different reasons and his anxiety DOES STOP HIM IT'S WHY HE HAS 6 ****ING KIDS FROM 3 DIFFERENT WOMEN. But anyway.
I am really tired of holding everything in and i can't hurt mmyself or they'll just get more mad than thdy already are this became a vent post i am sorry