Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterfly Crisis
I have a therapist, but I don't know how to broach the topic of DID. We've only been seeing each other since January and even then, he doesn't know a LOT of the stuff going on within me.. I've been looking into DID ever since my dissociation has gotten a lot worse. I didn't even understand it to begin with and still have a hard time comprehending it all, specifically because it causes me to freak out a bit and worry about who I am. That's the problem; I have no idea who I am, I'm different all the time, down to the point where I can't recognize myself at all. I don't LOOK like me, I don't ACT like me. I don't even know who ME is, and I constantly ask people who I am so I can see what they see; MAYBE that will make me know who I am..
This has been a problem for a very long time and after reading a few posts in this subforum, I think it stems from when I had to imagine things and daydream in order to cope with total isolation and other bad things..
But now, just yesterday, something happened that forced me back into feeling like I'm my 12 year old self again, and I can't get rid of this dreadful feeling and I think I need to face and accept this. This specific kind of thing happened before when I was raped in 2013; I was forced back into 7 year old me. I'm so lost, there are so many me's inside me, but it's a garbled mess and when I think about it, it panics me.
I don't even know what I'm doing..
Can someone help me understand DID, dissociation, and what I'm trying to say?
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ok there really isnt a short way to explain DID, dissociation so bear with me for a moment...
as short and simple as I can make it DID is having more than one of a very special kind of alternate personality. these very special alters affect your whole life history in every aspect of your life since very early childhood (my location the documented cases, statistics and mental health demographics show below the age of 5) Having these alters is not because of fantasy or having imaginary friends, using drugs, alcohol or having any other mental or physical health problem that can better explain the symptoms\altered state of mind. (you can read the longer version of what america goes by for diagnosing DID in the link in my signature line at the bottom of my post)
in simple terms dissociation is a reaction to a trigger. ie feeling numb spacey, disconnected, because something upset you, or caused you to feel strong emotions.. there are normal levels of this and abnormal levels that are the dissociative disorders. (also in my link at the bottom of my post)
if you think you have a mental disorder ie DID please contact your treatment providers. they can help you get set up for the testing process to rule out all the different normal, physical and mental problems that what you are going through can be (there are literally millions upon millions of things this can be) and diagnose whether you have a dissociative disorder, and how to best treat it so that you will be feeling better.