I enjoy the celebration of July 4th but HATE the fireworks right now! This year has been horrible remembering the gun my abusive stepmother had and hearing and watching her shoot and hearing her death threats to me.

That being said..Ive had loads of issues hearing gun shots/fireworks this year and seeing guns on police, etc. Ive had issues in the past but nothing like this year with the flashbacks etc.

Im not sure if this is all PTSD related or not. My PsyD even said maybe its paranoia too (Ive been dealing with paranoia this year a lot too.)

Its all so crazy and I don't want to be this way. It all ties in with my BP somehow, I just know it. Im so tired of already hearing fireworks being fired. Im gonna go crazy by the time people stop.