Hi itspeaks,

I’m sorry you’re feeling disgusting. I’m right there with you though. I’ve been in a pretty good recovery pattern and broke it today by purging a veggie burrito... a tortilla with vegetables in it! Like you said (A %#@&#! pop-tart.) This disease is so loud and so critical but when I look deep down I always find that it has nothing to do with the food.

For me, I struggle with wanting to be clean inside (because of abuse issues.) I wonder if you ever feel the same way. I’ve always looked at it like: Me Being Fat = Me Being Dirty & Rejected. So the less I put in my body the cleaner and more accepted I will be. After digging this issue out through long therapy sessions I’ve been more able to deal with the anxiety around it all... but I still have my slips, like today.

I just hope you’re getting the professional help you need and deserve. You’re in my thoughts.

Hugs. ~ Bee