You ever get that feeling when you dont know if something or someone is genuinely abusive or not...

On top of that, my protector, ironically, lost my ID. I have a feeling permanently lost, not misplaced. I might not be able to get my meds without it. I have 1 week of meds. Without continuing the meds i will get terrible withdrawal. And i probably wont be able to see my new therapist (tomorrow) or go into eating disorder treatment (the 2nd) either. Feels like a bunch of planning for nothing. And I feel scared about the meds. If you have a refill ready to be picked up, but just cant get it, and you cant see a dr on time, can you go to hospital for that sort of thing? Does anyone know? Its a benzo, but they have my picture on file, and it would truly be an emergency i feel... Its very dangerous to stop those meds suddenly.

I think im going to cut it off with that girl. It hurts so so much to think of, but i dont think its going to work out. (Not abuse thing i brought up earlier).

Im starting to hate DID. Im starting to wish i was just one person. Im starting to wonder if this is a fantasy that has gone on for too long that i can simply just stop.

Getting nightmares, panic attacks, realized I have OCD which explains a lot (undiagnosed, but when i asked friends who are educated on ocd, i kinda got "well, duh", but in a nice way). Everything sucked today

Joshua