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Originally Posted by ameliaxxx
My anxiety is always inflamed... Don't even worry about it [emoji23]
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Do you have generalised anxiety disorder too? Worrying all the time sucks. [emoji28]
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She's been a T for 15 years... She's highly recommended, etc. and in the 5 years I've been with her, she's never gone back on anything she promised. I do plan on talking to her more about it when she gets back in 3 weeks from her vacation. It's been 2 weeks since I last her... I have no idea if she has countertransference or not. I hope she does though because then that means she likes me.
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I can relate a bit on wanting T to have countertransference - it sort of means "I'm not run of the mill, I'm a little bit more special!" for me even if it was negative countertransference. (She said it was countertransference)
My ex T found me (and some other clients) difficult and somehow to me, that meant I was a little bit more special because then it meant she thought about me more and even had supervision and peer consultation about me (and other clients) but that meant I was in the "special" batch. [emoji15]
Probably because I always felt invisible growing up.
She probably likes you more than some others, else she wouldn't say you're "one of her favourites". Therapists are human, after all, and may connect better with some others and like some more than others.
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I'm sorry your T toke back out of session contact!!! I feel so bad for you right now. [emoji17]
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No worries, I wasn't clear enough - she didn't give it in the first place, explaining that she wouldn't give anything she would later resent.
I thought at first that it was a blanket agency clinic policy, but then she said something about some other clients being much more assertive with their needs, implying that the clinic staff had experienced clients yelling and I realised they could have probably call reception and ask for her.
And said how she would never let anyone call her every day so I got the impression that *some* clients can call her, but I'm not one of them.
I did have ex T tighten boundaries though, and it hurt.
I'm sorry I'm talking about myself though! [emoji33] [emoji15]
I really hope when your T gets back from vacation that you can talk with her about your feelings and fears. Maybe even write, if it's hard.
I hope she will be able to be reassuring and clear about her boundaries.