I had a narcissistic mother and can wholeheartedly agree with what you said about the effects of having such a mother. However, I am finding therapy to be very helpful. I urge you to reconsider the possibility of therapy.

A loving mate can help, but seeking a loving mate as the source of recovery means first of all that one must wait and continue to suffer until one finds this person. Second, one's lover cannot also be one's therapist. These are two distinct roles. Recovery isn't simply a matter of loving support, it is also a matter of professional training, skill, and experience.