Thanks I'm trying to hold on for all I'm worth. I wish I could just get away to clear my head but it's not going to happen though. Sometimes like right now the thought of ending it all seems so relieving and not ending it as in suicide. I mean just load up what I can carry on my bike and leave without ever looking back, but I couldn't do that to my kids it would be to selfish if me. I just want some relief, I just want really a physical arm around me and shoulder to lay my head on. I mean isn't that what a significant other is for is to hold you when you're upset and can't think straight cause you're manic or depressed and don't want to move. Aren't they supposed to be a caring shoulder not a verbal assault?