Kiya,

I liked the example you gave of pouring water into a dirty glass. That makes sense to me. I also relate to what you said about the system realizing it is finally safe and then breaking down. The problem for me was when I did break down, an acquaintance of mine tried to help by being a sort-of therapist to me. As it turns out, I got incredibly attached (I have serious attachment issues), and once the situation got too time-consuming and felt beyond her expertise, she wanted out of the situation and the relationship with me, and she abandoned me outright and completely. It was more devastating that I can describe. If I could go back and do it over again, I would not have let anyone "help" me in that way who was not a trained mental health professional. Being drawn in and feeling supported, loved, and understood, and then ultimately abandoned, brought back the worst of my childhood issues of rejection.