My house when I was working looked like a model home & I was able to afford weekly house cleaning & I always straightened up so that she could clean......but then I lost my career & was at home dealing with anxiety. No longer could afford a house keeper but then again, I was home & could do it. It started off that I was cleaning but then the longer I was at home, my H would come home & just dump his stuff whereever...like he was just blowing off what I had trained him to do for so many years....I started to get angry at him because he didn't listen to what I was telling him about the fact that I wasn't his house keeper.....finally got so angry I quit doing anything & I totally withdrew from everything.

When I left him & got into my new farm 2100 miles away & really didn't have even any furniture...I knew if I kept ahead of it all, I wouldn't get behind & it wouldn't get cluttered....but the house was huge & it was only me & with 7 dogs.....it was impossible to keep up. Then I fractured my back & couldn't even pick up anything more than 5 pounds for 6 months......so everything just ended up where it ended up. I've been trying to catch up every since....& since I haul my own trash to the dump along with all the recycling...it doesn't help with the clutter. I need to focus on one room at a time, but some how I keep trying to keep what I have cleaned clean & it's hard to find more time than that in my life to get anything MORE accomplished.

Honestly I love clean & I hate the mess that I'm surrounded by....but it's feeling impossible to accomplish especially when I have so many down days.....had major oral surgery the end of March & I still haven't recovered my energy & it's the lacking energy that is getting to me along with all the fields that need mowed during the summer. Just more than one person can keep up with when there is no money to hire anything done.