I also think it's a good idea for you to keep trying, but I want to advise you not to make the same mistakes I did in the process..

I'm currently in my late 20s, and over the years when I really needed to be hospitalized due to severe mixed states, psychosis, aggression, severe paranoia and so on, instead toxic people in my life always convinced me that I needed to just tough it out, while they never tried to get me proper help, either. This combined with my fear of hospitals and well, I never went outside of one suicide attempt many years ago.

What this means at this point in my life, is that I've been through a lot of terrible stuff, have lost multiple jobs, have been homeless, have had multiple psychotic episodes and have been utterly failing to thrive. Now I'm at the point where I have no job, no vehicle, no money, no assets, no friends. Basically no life and am having a very hard time seeing a future.

But I also have almost no paper trail, almost no medical history, almost no documentation. I have no way to prove most of what I've been through and have dealt with. If starting medication soon doesn't work out, I am going to be seriously screwed.

So keep trying, but don't be afraid to get help. Don't be afraid to go to the hospital if/when you are suicidal or psychotic. Document everything. Tell your pdoc everything. Save as much information as you can along the way when it comes to medical stuff, work stuff, etc. Don't let anyone ever convince you that you don't need or deserve treatment when you do.

This way, if a few years on down the line, you just can't make it in society due to mental illness, you will have plenty of documented evidence to help you.