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Old Jun 30, 2015, 04:37 PM
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Trippin2.0 Trippin2.0 is offline
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Member Since: May 2010
Location: Cape Town South Africa
Posts: 11,937
My relationship anxiety has/had different roots, (no parental narcissism, I have a BPD dx) but I do understand to a certain degree.


It's not a cure all or a quick fix, but what I COMMITTED to do for myself and my relationship, was to just appreciate and enjoy the now.


That's it. Remain present.


Whenever I would get into a tizz about the future flaming ball of the wreckage that was to become my relationship, I would practice my breathing technique, deliberately set out to distract myself and just repeat "enjoy the here and now, tomorrow is not your problem yet"


Then I would send my bf an "I appreciate u" type message to cement my resolve.


It was by no means easy, first fee months it was actually damn hard... like I said, no quick fix. But the new "enjoy the present" thoughts soon became habit and I've not panicked, pulled or pushed away in a LONG time.


I took very long to become agreeable to the idea of therapy (eventually saw a T last year and am currently in DBT) so alot of my strategies (like this one) are self-taught. Mostly tips I've picked up here that I've tweaked to my own needs.


So FWIW, I hope you find this of some use to you.
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DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD

"The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
Thanks for this!
Bill3