Yes. It can be hard to remember...

I have a soft toy. A wombat that I picked up in Tasmania. Mostly it sits on my bookshelf but sometimes... It helps me feel a little better to cuddle him. I found that out the other night. Hadn't cuddled him for ages. Was having trouble remembering my t though.

Sometimes transitional objects can help. Something that means something to you and / or helps you feel better.

I guess that I try and remember moments of emotional attunement / connection with my t. Feeling surprise when he met me at the door. Feeling him there with me when I was feeling ashamed. Hearing his voice saying my name in a soothing tone when I was saying about how people try and terminate me. Don't remember the words or the sound of his voice so much as the feeling. I have a lot of traumatic ruminations on feelings. Distress... It is like my brain gets into running the distress circuit round and round and round. Sometimes it helps me to think on him just being there with me feeling what I'm feeling and I don't feel so scared or alone. Even when it runs. It is hard though. It does hurt. But I guess I only spend either one or two hours with him when he is around. It is just that it is easier for me to remember... And to acquire new experiences.

I try and think on positive experiences with other people too. Try and spread my attachment a little. I can be quite rejecting of others sometimes I think :-( Trying to make more of an effort.