Hi Fuzzy. I think you are a good person and a very good Christian. I bet God sees you as a good Christian and that is what is most important.

I get frustrated when I see good people suffering and bad people seem to have nice lives. It makes no sense to me. I believe the bad people get there punishment in due time. I always pray that the bad people will have a change of heart or conversion and in a few cases this happens.

I found one Biblical explanation of why bad people seem to not suffer punishment in this life in Matthews gospel chapter 13 verses 24 to 30, and verses 36 to 43. I believe God will punish the wicked based on His timing.

Know that you are a wonderful person. I don't know why we have to suffer some of the depression and difficulty, but God still loves us, even when we can't feel Him near.