LittleMouse, I find your love and attachment for your therapist completely normal. Those feelings bring up fears of abandonment, because anyone would feel it would be hard to lose something so wonderful, so that is normal too. For me, I became strongly attached to my T from the very first session. It scared me, as I had not experienced any attachment with a former counselor. It freaked me out and I felt it was abnormal. Now I know it is not and am comfortable with it. I love my T and understand now that is normal, therapeutic, and healing. I have been seeing my T for 10 months now, and am now much more comfortable with our attachment and my love for him. It just seems natural and I don't obsess over it like I used to. We've just "settled down", if that makes sense. The attachment is still strong, but I don't feel so bereft between our sessions. I can make it easily from one to the next and don't constantly think about him. And when I do want to think about him, it is easy, and comforting. It's like my infatuation stage is over, and now an easy, comfortable love remains. Still intense, but somehow more manageable.
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In order to heal, we have to learn to trust
</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Cheri, I think that has been a very profound piece of my relationship with my T. I learned how to trust him completely, and that took months. Because I trust him, I now realize I can probably go on to trust others in my life too.
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i have found that loving someone so much gives me such an incredible power to get through the difficult times... i want to use that power, the positive force, to overcome the anxiety and fears that have plagued me for so long...
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Nikki, this is so very true for me too. Power, positive force... Yes, exactly! The things I have been able to do because I have this relationship with my T are incredible. I am getting a fricking divorce! I have been stuck with this for years, unable to move forward, despite having a former counselor who tried to help, a great lawyer, supportive family, etc. Just could not do it without the power of the bond with my therapist behind me. Sometimes when I am feeling low or hopeless, I need a session with T and when it is over, I just walk out of his office feeling so "renewed" and fantastic. What power.
My therapist is neither psychodynamic not CBT but recognizes the importance of the client-T relationship. He is humanistic/eclectic. I have read that research shows that it is the relationship with the T that matters most in a successful therapy outcome, not the treatment orientation of the T.
I'm not sure if I have ever broached outright with my T the topic of my attachment, but I dream about him and share the dreams, and the topic comes up that way. I'm shy that way... I like how my unconscious tells no lies and doesn't have the same arsenal of defenses my conscious mind has.