I have had major anxiety and depression since I was a teenager. I attempted suicide at 15 which landed me in hospital.
Since then I still struggle with anxiety and depression but have gotten my life together, married with children. I have major mood swings, sometimes I can feel great for weeks but then will get back into a slump again.
My anxiety is still raging on and I was prescribed paxil 30mg. The night I took it, I immediately started to feel extreme panic, I called my sister for help to come pick up my children and I began vomiting and hallucinating. After the vomiting stopped I just shook and felt like I was on the verge of a breakdown.. My doctor ordered to half the dose so I continued to do so.
I had to leave work as a new girl I was training was so terrifying to me.. I couldn't be around her. I hallucinated a lot, I thought a heavy woman was in my bedroom caring for me and when I took a shower a 'creature' told me that the pills had destroyed me and I had no hope now and I believed that I should kill myself to get out.
I constantly felt wrong and scared, I couldn't watch tv as it was too intense, I couldn't take care of my daughter as I couldn't hardly move.

I stopped the pills immediately and the effects lingered for weeks.
I am back to being anxious and still down on myself, I am in therapy but I don't think she thinks I have anything wrong with me. I am on Ativan for my panic attacks but I would really like to feel normal .. Although I'm too afraid to go on any other medication now.

After reading a little bit, confused as to why I reacted that way to paxil, it sounds like I could have experienced psychosis? I got told that if medication could do that to me, then maybe I have something wrong that I don't know causing my anxiety and depression..
Mental health issues run in my family. My grandmother had schizophrenia and my mother has anxiety and depression.

Any insight to what I experienced or why?
I want to feel better, not only for me but my family but I struggle to tell anybody, especially my therapist or doctor.
Any advice would appreciated. Thankyou

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