Is it enabling to have her help you smooth over the neighbor situation? You don't have to answer that, I'm tossing it out, as my own line of thinking. Not worrying about if you'll make a mistake is one step she could take. Building you back up, if you slip, is another.
Life 'is' a struggle. No doubt about that.
Removing the toxicity between the two of you seems necessary. Isn't she also in therapy? Not saying that over time, the back and forth history between the two of you doesn't exist in the mother -daughter dance, yet...we only get one life.