I know this is silly. I mean, most people know if you have a crush on someone or not. And the crushes I've had in the past have been quiet obvious, but this is quite different...so im reluctant to even call this crush. For a lot of crushes, they're intensely physical--you think the person is amazingly attractive. With this...I really like who he is as a person, and I cherish him..and I kinda think he's cute too, but the physical attraction isn't as intense as crushes in the past(which, I guess it's not that big of a deal)

Anyway, I've known him for 3-4 years now. I think he's really awesome. He's genuinely kind, has me laughing all the time, is really clever and smart, and I feel so comfortable around him. We have so much in common, and I absolutely love talking to him. Everytime he texts me, I get really excited haha. We can talk about anything, and a lot of the time, we end up texting for hours, late into the night..I just love it.

I've started to get these weird feelings towards him, starting about 8-9 months ago. I'd get dressed up in the morning for school because honestly, I wanted to look pretty when he saw me lol I'd purposely go to my locker in school hoping that he passed by, which was pretty often, and he'd stop at my locker and we'd talk and laugh...the usual. He would hug me all the time, compliment me and say that I looked beautiful and cute, which would make my heart stop every time lol. At the same time, he'd call me bro, which in my mind is pretty platonic... (admittedly , I call everyone bro, regardless if I have a crush on a person or not lol), say im awesome and cool, say im amazing...so...I dunno, to me it seems like really platonic and neutral compliments. So...its tough to say if he likes me or not, or is just really friendly(which, he is a really friendly guy)

Another thing, is that that he actually likes another girl, and talks to me about her occasionally. On the outside, im supportive, but on the inside, it sucks and I get jealous. But, I figure if he liked me, he would tell me (right? I dont bite...) So, I try to not let it get to me..

Lately...I have been...you know, wondering what it would be like to kiss him (I felt so weird typing that lol!) I'm not repulsed, and sometimes I think I might like it--but I wonder if it's just hormones talking...and plus, because we've interacted as just friends for so long, I wonder if it'll be awkward...
So....I dont know what to make of this.


I want to tell him how I feel, but I dont expect us to date at all, because he's going away to college soon. If somehow the stars were to align, and it turns out that he might have feelings towards me as well, I dont think it would be wise for us to date. Not because long distance relationships dont work, they can, but because I'd want him to have a full college experience. He's not a partier or a drinker, but I'd want him to be free to talk and date whoever he wants and have fun. Should I just keep this to myself? I'm the type of person who intends to take any crushes I have with me to my grave and not tell anyone, but I really wanna tell him because we're going our separate ways and I dont want to be plagued with "what if"...I want to know if maybe he feels the same thing for me, or not, so that I can know and eventually move on.

Should I just suck it up and keep it to myself, hoping these feelings will eventually go away? I've been holding this in for months and I dont know what to do anymore. Or should I tell him? I'd understand if there is a temporary awkwardness between us, but I wouldn't want our friendship to take a turn for the worse I really value him and his friendship, and dont wanna risk it...

(We're both 18)