Hi evildouble102,

It’s really good to hear that you were able to work through this thought of cutting. I know what you mean about thoughts like that stressing you out. I’ve been free from cutting for 5 months now but have to take it day by day. I get disturbed too when an object I’m using triggers an SI thought. For me, I think it’s bothersome because I expect too much of myself. For example, “I haven’t SI in 5 months so therefore I shouldn’t even be thinking these thoughts anymore, otherwise it ‘ll all come back.” We’re all so hard on ourselves. I guess it’s a matter of focusing on the positive to relieve the negative. You had a thought to cut but you didn’t act out on it which gives you great reason to believe that you are growing stronger! That’s very positive. Hold onto that and recognize the strength you gain each time this happens. And similar to what bipolar_bear said, through dedicated recovery work in finding new ways of coping I’m sure the thoughts will fade in time. I wish you well in this recovery process.

Hugs. ~ Bee