CopperStar is right. Everyone knows the truth deep down. But when someone speaks it, everyone hates it, except the speaker, because now they have to do something about it.

This is classic elephant in the room.

When I told my brother that dad's constant name calling affected my self-esteem....he actually god mad at me!!

It's very hurtful that your mother sent you an email like that. A concerned person would call and discuss and wonder why you feel that way. She hurt you and she knows it, and she doesn't want to address it. Unless your mom goes to therapy herself and work on her issues, things are probably not going to change much. Maybe she has issues because of her parents behavior towards her.

I think you should see this as a silver lining of the dark cloud and take your time to heal, without someone questioning your emotions and feelings.