I'm sure many have this struggle for different reasons - mine was/is being a child of an alcoholic father. I have had some meaningful relationships but it was not easy. You cannot depend on your lover/significant other to fix you. That is asking way to much of another person - plus if you do split up - then what?

Understanding why I am the way I am through various therapy, support groups, educating myself - has helped... that takes place over a long time and I constantly work on it. I still only let a few people close to me. I'm outgoing and do have colleagues and "people" I socialize with. Those people that want to get close had to climb some very high walls... and if they unintentionally hurt me.. I still take it pretty bad and the wall goes back up some. I can get into some really deep conversations -I can be pretty intense and passionate and not all people understand that or can handle it. I use to be embarrassed about that trait but have learned to like that about myself.

I had an intense relationship with a man - learned a lot from him and enjoyed most aspects about him... well, he did get to the point that he wanted to date others. I was devastated. It took about 2 yrs to get over it (our relationship lasted 5 yrs). But..
the pain is over and I'm am so glad he was part of my life. He really was a great friend and totally accepted me.

People will come and go - it's hard to let yourself go when you have so much pain inside. Take your time - and keep on getting better. Welcome new experiences with people - and I'm sure you have pretty good emotional intelligence (because of everything you endured in your life) - if your gut is telling you - red flag -know you are probably right.

Do not give up on support - all of it will not be great but there are so many options out there - take what works for you and leave the rest behind.

Learn to be good to yourself - you deserve it!!!!