Diagnosis: Autism, Social Anxiety Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Severe Anxiety Disorder, Depression

I have to be able to work. I don't qualify for disability as it is based on income and assets. I have a husband who works full time, we own our home, and we have savings for emergencies as well as his retirement (he is only a few years away, and I can't support us.) We need my income.

My doctor took me off work for "Severe Anxiety and Mood Disturbance" 1.5 weeks ago. She doesn't want me to go back to that job, or anything else that deals with the public.

Manual labour is no good as I have back issues, and aches in my feet and legs (due to severe club foot in both feet when I was born.) I also have very low energy, with spurts of normal level energy. I would prefer physical activity to be outside of work (biking, walking, kayaking, swimming, etc.)

Leaving my house, being around crowds, or even dealing with any people causes panic attacks. I have performance anxiety, and work best if there is noone (including my husband) around when I am working.

Although my anxiety is still very high, my panic attacks (which occurred multiple times every day) stopped when my work ended a week ago. I would like to not have those panic attacks anymore. My son would also like for me not to go back to them as he struggled to see me like that. He is 19, and has much the same issues as me, only he doesn't work yet.

I already (without work) push myself well beyond my comfort zone. I go to church, go to Bible Study, go to a psychiatrist and counseling, drive a car, do my own shopping, go out with my husband and visit his family, and live in close proximity to neighbours (so even going outside is out of my comfort zone.) All of these things bring out my strong anxiety. I don't feel the need to do more to push myself.

I really like to write and create things, but cannot handle criticism. While I would like to make money blogging and taking photographs, I do not believe I actually could. I do not want to do something creative for my work.

Here are some things I am good at: filling in paperwork (registration forms for the motel, transferring reports, IEPs when my son was home schooled through distributed learning, lesson plans for my daycare, etc.) Filing, faxing, and emailing are also things I am good at.

I enjoy researching, especially regarding psychology, education, eschatology (end times theories) and children's disabilities. I cannot afford to go back to school for a PhD, though I think I have the intelligence to complete that level of education (though not the mental calmness.)

I enjoy looking at pictures of interior design, looking through real estate on the mls website, being inspired by pictures on pinterest, and drawing floor plans. I do not believe that would be a good line of work for me.

I enjoy reading historical fiction (especially about pioneers, early Canadian/American history, Biblical times, Jewish history, etc.) I also like reading fantasy (Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Inkheart, etc.) and Christian books (Max Lucado, Jerry B. Jenkins, Brock and Bodie Thoenie, Randy Alcorn)

The things I cannot do are: answer phones, deal with unpredictability, conflict resolution, problem solving (can do to a small degree, but only where I have experience and it is an easy solution) move beyond the established rules/regulations (like people asking to use the pool at my last job after hours) work with people around me, etc.

I would really like to work at home, on my computer. I do not want to work with specialized systems (programming, computer repair, excel, etc.) but email, etc. are okay. I don't want to work with direct contact with people. Email is best, web forums are good, instant messaging is okay (as long as it isn't conflict resolution or requiring creative solutions.)

I am not looking to get rich quick. I would like flexible hours (can go away from the computer, get something done, and come back) but could put in 36-40 hour weeks if required. I would like to make more than $20,000/year, but do not need to make thousands a month.

I cannot sell anything. I have never been able to. However, I was able to get clients for my daycare and petsitting business online, as well as in town. I can't make enough petsitting, and can't bring myself to do daycare again (after my failed adoption through the children's ministry, which is the most recent cause of my PTSD.)

Does anyone have any ideas? I haven't the imagination to come up with anything, and am afraid of falling for more scams (I have had enough of that in the past 20 years.)

This is long again. I am sorry. I cannot help but write a lot. My emails always become essays. Even my journal that I started 1 month ago today is already 150 pages long. When I speak, I struggle to get out a word.