Update:

So, I went to Pride with my group of friends. I put on a smile and tried to have a good time, but my heart wasn't in it. I ended up leaving early. I also ran into thewoman I dated back in February and got to hear about how she took a new date to the exact same restaurant and club she took me to on our first date. Geez.

That evening, however, I got a message (through my online dating profile) that I just couldn't ignore-- despite having no intention of getting back out there quite yet. I'm honestly floored that I'm so drawn to her, but we've been talking 24/7 and she matches every single thing I'm looking for in another person-- despite living 4 hrs away. So, we're talking about meeting up for the 4th of July (with my friends, in a public place!)-- so we'll see. I'm trying to stay realistic, but hopeful. I know dating again so soon could be looked at negatively, but I don't want to let the woman who assaulted me ruin my chance at actually meeting someone great.

My T is still a conundrum. She is normally amazing, but I think her being newly in love is messing with her head. She spent my therapy session on Tuesday telling me about how her new gf is taking her on this amazing weekend getaway-- after I just explained how I don't want to hear my sister tell me about the trips her boyfriend takes her on! How does it not occur to her that telling me about that is "rubbing in my face" that she has the thing I want, but don't have? If things with this new woman actually go well for me, I won't be as sensitive about this topic and I may not care anymore-- but if they don't, it's going to make that even harder for me to deal with, knowing that my T is off on this fabulous getaway and I'm feeling awful. It's not like I'm going to reach out to T for support when I know she's on a trip with her gf-- again. I think I'm starting to understand why most Ts have stricter boundaries around self-disclosure. When I'm in a good place, I like hearing about T's life because it makes me feel closer to her. But, when I'm in a rough place, it's hard to meet her beloved daughter and hear about her weekend romantic getaways. How does she not understand that these things would be triggering for me, when they are directly related to what I'm struggling with?