Hi. Your message reminded me of my own situation. Several people in my family suffer from emotional disorders, but since theirs impairs their day to day functioning less than mine, I am somehow seen as the evil one. My dad used to push me, shove me up against the wall, and once even punched me and knocked me to the ground in order to "control" my emotional outbursts. My mother still tells me to this day that this was all necessary to keep me under control, but I feel weird about it.

My family has also helped me out a lot and done so many things that other familys would not do for someone with my problems so that makes it even more confusing. I know that I have been abused in some manner, but am confused by all the good things they have done for me. So I'm not sure whether I love my parents or not. I am just very confused by the whole situation. They still blame me for a lot of the stuff that went on while I was growing up, and imply that I'm unfeeling and ungrateful.

I'm so confused. Does anyone have any suggestions? I would like a relationship with my family but I am not sure how to let go of all the stuff that they have done to me, since they have never admitted any wrong.