I tried calling a crisis line but couldnt say anything. I just want these feelongs to stop. I'm overwhelmed. Safe. Thinking bad thoughts but not planning to act on them. Saw T today. She made 2 appointments 4 me nxt week but feel so panicked and hysterical and hopeless and desperate I dont know what to do. Tried so many coping skills. So tired and so afraid to relax and go to sleep. Oh T, why cant I come live in your closet? I will stay quiet in the fetal position. Just come pet me once in a while

Now that this is out there, I have a new fear. what if everyone ignores me. I cant bear that. I must flee. I am such a coward.