I'm glad the call did not go through, calling him is opening yourself up to even more hurt. Which would be akin to looking for punishment.


Please don't do that to yourself, you deserve better.


Grieve the ending of this relationship as you must, as is perfectly normal with any ending, good or bad. But please don't fool yourself into thinking that being with him is better than being without.


You're better off without him, its just hard to see it through the grieving process.


I grieved a terrible abusive ex for some months, and yes, like you hoped he would change, even toyed with giving him another chance. I'm so glad that I had the good sense to remind myself that my daughter deserves better than watching her mom get beat up, or I wouldn't be with my awesome bf today, and my child would be traumatized.


You can get past this stage, just keep reminding yourself why its better that he's out of the picture.