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DAY 02
Swung super low last night, almost hysterical-type crying, sometimes crying and laughing at the same time. It felt like my little disassociation shield shattered and I suddenly became exceptionally aware of how ridiculous and sh**** most of my life has been, and how utterly empty it is now. My rage towards my mother twisted into some sort of sorrowful disgust. I can hardly come up with any words to say to her when she tries to talk to me. I feel rather ghostly, and my suicidal ideation went through the roof. Had insomnia last night, as well, but eventually fell asleep and got about 5 hours.
So it seems 5mg might not cut it, but I'm giving it the full 4 weeks to adjust. I didn't get the dry mouth issues again, and I still have no appetite at all, which seems weird for Zyprexa. Might be a depression symptom I don't normally get, or something.
Soooo to keep this honest and informative, the evening of day 1 and the morning of day 2 have not gone very well. No physical side effects, but I think it might be having too much of a 'downer' effect. Or it could be that it hasn't had enough time to build up in my system yet, it's only the second day. Meh.
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