(((((HUGS))))) so much emotion and frustration coming through.

You can leave, and you can find someone to help you and guide you toward a more positive life. Really and truly!

That said, just wishing it was different, doesn't make it so. I think a mentor is a great idea! Like you said, someone around your age or a little bit older, someone who's doing things like you want.

Looks like you're in a city, so maybe there's a community program you could tap into? For example, there's a university were I live and they've got a program where students mentor other young people who live in the area. It'll probably take a little research.

The reality of having to work for food and shelter sux. I'm way older than you and still haven't figured out how to get around that! Have you considered taking a class at a local community college? I'm sure you could find one around your work schedule and it'll put you around other people looking to better themselves too. I did 2 years at a community college before transferring to a 4 year college. I was supporting myself, working a s*** job, so qualified for a grant. While I was there, I had this great professor whose class I loved, and he saw something in me, ending up creating an independent study thing for a class credit the next semester for me and 2 others. That was pretty cool, having that 1 on 1. Alternatively, there are short-term music specific programs - like 8 weeks - in the country. Something like that'd take a more solid plan of savings, so you could pay for it, plus live without working for a couple of months, but some programs have job placement assistance in the field after.