Hi ThisWayOut,

At last, the move you've been waiting for!!!
I know it isn't going to make everything "better"/make everything "go away" and it will have it's "challenges", it may not be "easy", but hoping it will eventually turn to the positive move you've been hoping it will be

And the size of the place..........well maybe much easier to clean
One of the good things about "downsizing" though.........is it brings more focus on the items that hold some meaning/value to you and less so on the superfluous items you gather. And kind of a fresh start.

Really good that the contact with your T went well though........sometimes people understand/care more than we think they might........and especially so if you're more used to the kind of people in your life who are pretty limited on those things. I know you've had some of those kind of people in your life

And good you're kind of prepared to open up to your wife. Sometimes the most awkward conversations can lead to being the most "connecting" conversations.
And try not to see it as much as "admitting"..........but more as sharing..........and sharing your thoughts/feelings too..........

Real mix of emotions now though, hey?? That's understandable
I don't know if it would help but maybe you could set yourself some goals to focus on?? And they can be anything.........from not SI'ing for x amount of time, to researching different coping skills (even if nothing particular stands out), to planning on phoning someone/anyone at x time, to organizing something for the move, to researching/planning particular things you might do when you get there. Even if they do nothing else/go nowhere else but give you temporary distractions, it may be something.

And another affirmation.........it is OK to cry
Completely understand if that doesn't really help, but maybe the more and more you hear it, the more you can tell yourself, the more you can very slowly feel it/even very slowly allow yourself just a little...........just had to throw it in once more for you.
Afterall, still some "stuff" to work on/through...........but please don't stop reaching for help with that.



Alison