I'm sorry you are struggling so much with this. Trauma can be a really pesky thing to work to heal.
I've supressed my trauma memories for almost 36 years... I consciously forgot them, but they were still there. I am not sure how you could successfully convince yourself they are not real. It may work for a while, but my experience has taught me that "forgetting" does not mean healing from it, it simply means not being consciously aware of it. The effects of all that trauma have haunted me my whole life. Only now, talking about them, accepting them, and processing them, am I able to start to get anywhere.
I still don't have many memories from my life (good or bad). Most of what I do "remember" comes in flashbacks (for the negative ones) or things others have shared with me (the positive ones). I have not found it to be pleasant. I react strongly to triggers I can't place. I feel a connection to certain stories without knowing why I feel connected to them... Not being able to place any of it just causes it's own confusion and distress. I don't know how to fix it when I don't know why it's there...
Maybe if there was a way to truly erase those memories, it might work? I don't think the resources available to people today would do it though.
My mom chooses not to remember a lot of her trauma, and she is an incredibly angry person. She is abusive, though does not comprehend her abusiveness. She doesn't acknowledge anything happened in her life. She doesn't acknowledge her anger and resentment. She just takes it out on those around her (like Shakey's stbx)...
Trauma work is hard. I can understand not wanting to have to find a new T though. I'm also all about T's bettering their practices by learning (everyone has to learn somehow). I just hate to see you continuing to hurt... Seeing a T that is well-versed in trauma treatment has been a huge help. I've had to switch T's 4 times in the last 2 years (for reasons outside of my control). 2 were trauma T's, and 2 were not. The trauma T's were much more helpful than the other T's. It's not that I disliked working with the others, or that they were not good T's (because they were good, and they did their best to figure out how to help me), but they just didn't have the experience or supervision available to help with the more complex stuff... Maybe you could keep seeing your T and also see someone for more focused trauma treatment?