I'm wondering if I'm being manipulated. You ever have those "gut" feelings where you know something just isn't quite right, yet you can't really accurately describe what's going on?

To make a long story very short, my stepson, who's had issues his whole life. Nothing physical or violent, but a lot of anger and disturbing talk etc. Finally a therapist, with a substantial amount of experience with troubled kids etc., got involved when he was 17. She saw him at least once a week for a few months. She concluded, by her own experience with him, that he was worrisome. None of which my husband really accepted about his son. That was about three years ago.

Fast forward to today, when he is 20 years old. He has made several failed attempts to get his life started. The military dismissed him just two weeks into boot camp for mental issues. At least that's all my step son shared with us. He is making is third attempt at college. He has done well this summer session at school. He is visiting us for the few days in between summer semesters at the moment. At one point he wasn't allowed to come back into the home because of his history with me and the other kids. However, lately I saw that he was making an effort to be more respectful of the family etc. so I agreed with my husband that he could come stay during breaks at school.

The first night back, at dinner, he said something very disturbing to me and the family out at dinner. We were asking Suri on the iPhone silly questions to see what she would respond. My stepson asks sure, "where can I hide a body". I was flabbergasted but I didn't say anything to him at the time except that I was not going to ask that. My husband/his dad, was sitting right there and heard the whole story. When dinner was over and we got home, I talked to my husband about the disturbing comment. I told him that I didn't want to be left alone at home with his son. I explained that i just don't feel right etc. My husband argued a bit with me and was defensive (the same way he was back when he was 17). He tried to say that his son has been a lot better lately etc. I agree to a certain point. Yes, my stepson has learned to be much more respectful in front of us, however, now he gets into creepier more angry discussions. He has gotten to the point that he feels it's his duty to correct anybody, (please excuse my language but these are words he chooses) redneck/christian/republicans (these are the groups he is so obsessed with confronting and correcting). He can't just ignore when people say something he doesn't agree with. etc. etc.

Anyhow, the bottom line is that I don't feel comfortable in the house alone with him. My husband (very passively) makes me feel bad or if it's my fault for feeling this way. I think he is trying to punish me or something because he hasn't said much at all to me today and is really just cold and pouty. Also, last night, he didn't admit the strangeness of his son, instead he said that he will keep his son away from here and just hang out with him away from home because "if that's the way I feel about him, then he (the son) will feel it and it won't help him etc.

I feel bad and I don't want to feel bad. I am sticking by my position on this and i'm not going to let his passive ways make me fold.

Does this behavior sound familiar to anybody? I just can't understand why I have to feel this guilty or bad for something/a need that I find so basic.