I myself have wasted so many years not having a life. It's a choice we make though. I regret all those years, and wish I had them to try over now, but all I can do is try to move forward from where I am. I couldn't get out of it by myself either - it takes help. You have support here from people who understand. Please find the help you need to reclaim your life. Don't let anyone steal it from you! You deserve to have a life, and you can. I promise.