My solution to this was a spiritual one. Since I realized that the imagined allies were never allies to begin with I re-evaluated all my relationships on a basis of whether they pass the authenticity test. It they didn't, I let go of them. Was it painful? Oh, yes. It hurt as hell. But I came out if it stronger as a result because I rooted myself in my spirit. I know that many people may not even know what it means and will think of it as something religious. There is nothing religious about it. It's simply a sense of deep and strong connection with who I am. It's simply acknowledging and accepting all my feelings, thoughts and other mental states as they are without judgment no matter how dark, painful and unattractive they may be. It's simply never breaking this connection with who I am under any circumstances for the sake of keeping some relationship or someone in my life. If someone doesn't accept me for who I am I don't need them. I don't suffer from loneliness. Being alone to me is not the same as being lonely. I am alone much of the time but I never feel lonely. I am connected with my soul fully and that makes my inner life very rich and interesting. If I encounter people who enjoy my company and don't mind me being myself, it's always a pleasure. If I don't, I don't suffer, I continue to enjoy my time and my life as it is. I don't form attachments to anyone that are so strong that I would feel that my life will end if this person is no longer in it. That applies to my family as well. I am very attached to them and I love them dearly, but if, God forbid, something happens to them, despite all the pain I will be able to continue to find meaning in my life somehow.