Okay so there's another holiday coming up and I got no plans. I've always felt like odd man out because I don't have a wife or kids so family get togethers were awkward. I always felt like I had to scream at people to get their attention - they were usually polite but it made for creepy banter. The last few years I've started making up excuses to not participate in holidays because it just isn't fun and I'm not a young man anymore so it's sort of embarrassing. Besides a lot of the close relatives are dead so I'm not really missed. I'm just tired of trying to act like I have something to do on the holidays - my holidays usually consist of TV watching and a meal. The eerie thing is I feel I'm beyond really trying to make any effort to re-establish any tradition. I'm way too old to start a family and I'm not really religious so most holidays to me are kinda silly. However, that does not dismiss the gaping hole I have when you see everyone else involved with the festivities. So here I am on the bench alone where I've always been the only problem now is the road ahead looks less promising than it ever has. Happy 4th everybody.