that's just it....there's no progress....my dad didn't know

i put them through a lot when i was a teenager with hospitalizations, etc.

i'm 32 years old now living on my own. as far as my parents knew i was fine - up until last week when they found out i was taking antidepressants - which isn't that big of a deal.

but they have NO idea i self injure or ever did. so it wouldn't be me showing progress - it'd be like hitting my dad over the head with a base ball bat from out of know where.

i do NOT want them worrying about me!!!!

my dad had a heart attack four years ago and had quadruple by-pass. his heart literally stopped in the ER. so what's the worst that can happen - he can die.

and my mom struggles with alcohol & depression - if he tells her that will make it more difficult for her and when she's drinking for him!

my dad's not the type that will bring it up with me. he likes to pretend everything is ok. so i'm not worried that i'll have to explain anything. i just have to work extra hard to reassure him i'm doing great.

i know all this sounds stupid and messed up. i love my parents immensely and i know they love me!!! i just don't want to cause them pain.

it took them years of trying to have a baby when they finally got me...they should've stopped trying sooner

i appreciate your reply! sorry mine is so long....