your husband seems to be manipulating you into accepting his son. it is not right for him to do what hes doing, he is mentally abusing you. i know myself sometimes my husband does similiar things, my son says my husband is passive aggressive towards him too. i do love my husband and he is rarely this way, i've just learned how to deal with it and he isn't as bad lately. i do know how you feel is what i'm trying to say, so be careful too, his son is someone i would fear too. good luck