Quote:
Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster
Seriously, therapists are so moronic I can't even articulate how much so.
Funny, I made a post similar to this one about a year ago, YAY for consistency I suppose! 
I'm back in therapy again at the present moment. It's not my choice, I don't want to be there(I won't go into why I'm being forced for privacy reasons heh). It seems entirely superfluous to me. Why bother? I have zero interest in "changing" in the traditional way psychology sees the matter. She doesn't think I can be a "real" Narcissist because like I said in my older thread, it's that same BS argument, "oh but you're so self-aware so you can't be a Narcissist!"
It's not even that I give two ****s about her thinking I'm a Narcissist or not as I'm finally diagnosed with NPD for good now(even before that I didn't give a **** other than being frustrated that therapy has never gotten me anywhere). It's just so annoyingly consistent, these therapist people seem to be all exactly the same. Boring, inferior intellect, and preconceived notions about me that they never let go of.
It would be nice to have an objective set of eyes to help modify behaviors that are clearly not serving me, but therapists refuse to look at me for who and what I am(and therefore are of ZERO use to me, as they refuse to listen when I talk about what goes on in my mind that truly motivates my behaviors) so I end up frustrated... Which then incites me to play games with said therapists that leave them psychologically shattered by the time I'm through with them. That is exactly what happened last year when I wrote another post about the same general frustration and barring an absolute miracle, it will happen again this time around.
I don't want to "change". It is stupid for anyone to expect me to want to. I like myself the way I am, duh, it's the nature of my ******* disorder.
People wonder why Narcissists don't recover and well, it's not just because most of us don't want to change. It's because therapists more often than not refuse to really see us and work with our actual issues because it seems at least in my experience that they simply cannot believe that a real live narcissist would walk into their office.
But again, I don't go to therapy willingly. Never have. Never will. I find the entire thing to be completely worthless to me, no benefit whatsoever except temporary entertainment that I frankly don't need to pay good money for to find.
Pfft.
I don't know why I'm posting this, I suppose I wanted to vent. Heh.
Have a nice ****ing day.
-Resident Malignant Narcissist of PC aka Atypical_Disaster |
I won't pretend to know the extent of your ego defenses/where you lie on the spectrum, and I won't assume I know what you've been through in your journey, but I must admit, I laughed a bit to myself when I read this post considering the forum section.
Not all narcissists are handicapped by an unwillingness to accept their fallibility, or some deep aversion to the potential of therapy. It's well argued that the people who use NPD defenses who deny their level of dysfunction are generally the most resistant to change. I generally agree with this. But this is true of anything. Cynicism and indifference both create formidable obstacles to change.
Confronting the comprehensive nature of a personality disorder/ego defense mechanisms can be a bitter pill to swallow. I was only recently diagnosed at the age of 40, but I've known something was wrong with my processing for at least the past 8 years. After a good deal of reading, and some prodding by my girlfriend, I came to the conclusion that the best way to confront this must be a complete and utter surrender to therapy and self-help, and owning my complicit use of these habitual and toxic routines. It makes intuitive sense that in order to shed the protective bark of a a false persona/ego, one would need something like radical vulnerability and self-acceptance of a fallible person, which is what we all are.
So far, self-policing of defensive behavior, and non-judgmental acceptance of myself, my flaws, and my memories, in conjunction with exercises to massage the nerve of empathy, I've been seeing notable improvements.
It's important to remember, you aren't a disorder. Pathologizing yourself (as my shrink calls it) is unethical to yourself, and moreover, it's inaccurate.You're a unique person who is using bad coping mechanisms and we simply need to uninstall those, and retrain ourselves, however long that takes.
My two cents.