Hi ThisWayOut,

I know that things might seem "all over the place" for you right now, and transitions are massive and particularly so in your circumstances........sometimes it seems like there's no right way to go/nothing that you can do to make it right/"feel right"
And I know the SH is something/one of the few things you can control right now, something you know might give relief.........but it is just temporary relief, right??
And you know that the urges are still going to return (maybe even stronger) if..........., and the pain/hurt.........is still going to be there afterwards if...........
So as much as you can hold off, hey??
The "goodbyes"...........they aren't going to wipe out how important the friendships have been to you, nothing can take that away if you want to hold that close, that and the positive memories...........the positive feelings you've felt. They're still there to be added to in time. And some of those friendships/your feelings can still be foundations for future friendships/allowing more "good" people into your life.
And right now, enough packing, hey?? Give yourself a bit of a break
And if you need to.........."I need to go hide in bed and cry for a bit"..........then that's not a "weakness", that's completely understandable and even possibly a natural reaction you may need to allow yourself to do
The immediate hours........day..........could you unpack your art supplies??? If so I'd say do it..........if not, then there's no question you're naturally talented/versatile, so perhaps have a go at switching to pencil or pen drawings/expressions??? That and whatever else you can drag your focus onto until the move???
Plus keep reminding yourself it is "just" a matter of time until the move..........it might not go quickly, it might not go easily..........but it is about time, and it will get there. There can be something "better" on the other side.



Alison