Recently, there was some interesting stuff about setting boundaries. I'd like to get some input about a situation I've encountered with a friend of 30 years. We are both females in our 50s.

S is something of a know-it-all. At times, she can be very complimentary -- almost too effusively. For example, when I evacuated New Orleans for Ivan, I took all my things, as all I have with me is what fits in the back of my SUV, and went to Austin for a week. I was considering not coming back, and if the city had flooded, there would have been no reason for me to do so. (Right now my life is rootless, but that's another story.) She kept going on and on about how that was a "brilliant' idea.

Because I am unemployed, I am considering getting a room in someone else's home. Most of my life, I've lived alone, occasionally with romantic partners in relationships that have lasted a while -- but the longest lasting (15 years ) was with a man who was away most of the time.

When S visits me for extended period, her know-it-all ness and insistence on always, always being right about everything starts to grate, and we've had some run-ins. So last night, she was adamant that I should not live with others because I am (1) judgmental (2) impatient (3) unwilling to compromise [probably meaning a point is generally reached where I won't lie down for her anymore] and (4) I have poor body language in small groups [whatever that means].

Right now, she's on morphine and has a 7.5 level of pain from a broken back. So probably not a good time to set boundaries. But -- does a depressed person really need this kind of count-down on my faults?

And I, of course, am never supposed to say anything negative about her. She goes all weepy or argues how none of her other friends would agree with whatever my opinion might be.

Any thoughts about whether one simply accepts such things in the course of a 30-year friendship, or how one might respond instead of "letting it go" but not being happy with one's lack of response?