I just came here to express some thoughts and feelings. I don't like the 4th. Not patriotic I suppose. I appreciate the opportunities I have as an American and I really appreciate those who fought for these things. I just don't get into the whole thing. I think overzealousness, if that's a word, turns me off of anything... Religion, patriotism, fitness fanatics, sports fanatics... Realizing of course that this is my issue. People have a right to be excited about something as long as they don't push it on me...

Back to bpd stuff though. I don't like feeling this loneliness while I also don't want to be with most of the people I know. I suppose if I could be myself and not self-conscious I would be happy to be around some people. There are only two people who I feel totally comfortable to spend time with. One is my therapist... That's out of the question obviously. The other is my little sister who lives on the other side of the country. I am trying to be happy to be with myself and not need or feel like I need someone. I'm not succeeding.