Quote:
Originally Posted by avlady
your husband seems to be manipulating you into accepting his son. it is not right for him to do what hes doing, he is mentally abusing you. i know myself sometimes my husband does similiar things, my son says my husband is passive aggressive towards him too. i do love my husband and he is rarely this way, i've just learned how to deal with it and he isn't as bad lately. i do know how you feel is what i'm trying to say, so be careful too, his son is someone i would fear too. good luck
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Thanks.
I understand my husband's pain, knowing that his own son is basically banned from his own home, but he is 20. I told my husband that I am more than willing to financially support him and love him from a distance, but I do not want him under my roof anymore. I also made sure that my husband knew that he could go visit his son anytime and take vacations with him. I don't want to stifle his relationship with his son, but I don't want him consistently in my home. I know that sounds incredibly terrible, because I would feel completely heart broken if someone felt that way about my kid. But, my husband knows how is son is and knows the long terrible history with him. So, having that knowledge, why make me feel bad? Why basically give me the silent treatment? Mope around and be distant from me? Without saying anything, I think I feel totally manipulated. If not manipulated, then something, but my husband's demeanor to me doesn't feel right. This is something we talked in depth about in therapy about my step-son. The three different therapist felt that my husband was living in denial about his son. By now, I would think my husband would be more considerate of me.
In any case, I'm not going to cave and let my emotions run with guilt. I'm going to try to stay strong and insist on being considered.